Cancer Parting Gift: Early Menopause

So no one really prepared me for the part where the side effects of cancer treatment is early menopause. Chemotherapy chemically puts your ovaries basically to sleep and hormone therapy tends to keep them there.

Looking back at my life in the years before cancer and understanding more about all this now I realise I have been in peri-menopause for like the last 5 years or so. I always thought my anxiety, struggle to concentrate and thinning hair was just me not being able to cope but it was likely my hormones going into decline.

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Haircut 3: Signs of Normalcy

I had my third and last haircut at Guys Hospital with Cancer Hair Care Charity on 1 Feb. These sessions at the hospital have been a GODSEND as its just me and the lady in a private corner on the chemo floor. I get a chance to talk about how I’m feeling with my hair journey, she gets a look at my scalp to check hair progression and I get a little trim in the process>>

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Did I cause my Cancer---Yes and No

The more I move further away from Cancer treatment the more I’m trying to learn the lessons this has been trying to teach me and in that finding what may have happened in my life to contribute to this. It will probably come across as blaming myself and I’m fully aware that even nun’s who live perfect lives could get this thing. Its often a part of being human and just having breasts that you end up part of the statistics of getting diagnosed>>

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Adjusting

This month I’ve been working a lot more than I have in a long time with gigs. Whilst my bank account is in dire need of help after cancer, trying to adjust to working full weeks has been difficult. I did a 3 day commercial shoot for a bank recently and sometimes gigs will film things that are due out for summer in winter and vice versa. So we were in freezing temps outside all day standing trying to cope. We were able to put on warm things in between takes but often it just made things worse and you could never really get warm>>

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Squeaky Clean Scans

Yesterday I finally got the scan results for two tests—-my first Mammogram post breast cancer and a bone scan. During treatment I was having terrible pain off/on in my lower back including my brief time on Tamoxifen. It felt like my lower back was crumbling and the pain would wake me up every morning. I raised it with my oncologist and she suggested to get a bone scan to rule out anything serious like the cancer spreading or the start of arthritis>>

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My first Mammogram Post Breast Cancer

So today I had my first Mammogram post breast cancer diagnosis. I wasn’t actually expecting this appointment because I had been told so many different things by different people. I had been told it won’t be until next year by the doctor and then others told me it would be around this time. SO when I got a call out of the blue to come in it took me by surprise >>

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A Year Since Diagnosis: Gratitude + Big Lessons

A year ago today, I was told the news that I had Stage 2, grade 3 IDC Breast Cancer. Part of me was so confident I didn’t have it, I didn’t have James come with me to the appointment because why would I if it wasn’t anything serious? I think looking back in my gut I knew what it was and so did James the minute I found the lump just before a trip to Paris in August >>

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Tamoxifen - Week 1

I feel guilty and bad (which seems to happen to me a lot in this cancer journey) because I feel like its only 5 mg I should be able to handle this. I feel bad because I know what a lot of Stage 4 cancer people would give to have even this option for themselves. I also feel SCARED that if I don’t push through and just put up with this poo that it will increase my risk of this coming back and I do not want that one bit >>

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Physio- The Personal Trainer Editions

I had my first personal training session with her last week (we will be meeting every other week) and she checked how many times I could sit down and get up in a chair in a timed space, my blood oxygen levels and my grip strength. We then did some balance exercises, some leg presses and arm, shoulder and back weights. I pushed myself HARD but not too hard. Was sore the next day but managed to get out for a run the following day so not too bad. Grateful for my overall recovery rate being pretty good so that I can snap back quickly >>

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Nutrition Support after Cancer

Implementing change in nutrition is and will be hard for me. To be honest James and I weren’t eating THAT bad before compared to most people but implementing the change we have done has taken ages. Food is such an emotionally intertwined complex subject especially for myself whose had such a difficult relationship with food. So thus the need for someone to help and hoping that it will help me get my weight down finally after struggling with this my entire life >>

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Pills: Decisions and Delays

So because my breast cancer is sensitive to hormones usually what happens after chemo, radiation and surgery is some sort of endocrine/hormone therapy as a final buffer to help prevent any hormones feeding into a new cancer which you don’t want. There’s no guarantee that this would happen if I took the pills or didn’t take the pills although there’s some evidence with benefit of taking them. No matter what I’ve done along this ‘cancer journey’ there’s no fool proof way of preventing this to come back 100% >>

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